Living in a Shadow

If you’re a younger sibling, you know what it’s like to fall beneath your siblings shadow. Even if you’re the oldest, you can still feel that way. As we all know, TCNJ is a family school. Especially for my family - my sister graduated in 2011, my brother graduated in 2013, my cousin is a junior like me, and my younger brother is now a freshman here. Yet trying to decide how to get involved was still so difficult because I wanted to be different from my siblings but still participate in what I wanted at the same time.

So freshman year, there I was trying to figure out what to do but all I knew was I missed my family and friends from home and I really was not sure how I could fit in. My floor was great and we all got along but I did not have the close knit friend group that my friends from home seemed to have at his or her schools. TCNJ has so much to offer but I was lost.

My sister did not decide to join greek life, it just wasn’t for her. My older brother joined a fraternity and loved it. To this day he still sees his brothers and they are well known in our family. After realizing and seeing that, I wanted it but I wanted it to be my own. I struggled with figuring out how to make my experience with greek life my own when everyone knew me as the younger sister. The answer was simple: be myself.

Going through rounds I didn’t realize how important this was. When I went in I found something I didn't know existed. After going through all the rooms I found the one place where I felt comfortable. I felt like myself. The best part was when I talked about my siblings and how my brother was in Greek Life but all they wanted to hear about was me, not him. Then, after I joined, I created a name for myself. I was no longer his little sister, but I was just me.

So if you’re thinking about joining Greek Life and your sibling has been in it before, here is a short list of what I want you to do:

• Be yourself. Plain and simple. Wherever you join, they should like you for you. Make sure they know the real you and don’t be afraid to show it. Remember that this is your choice. Don't go with what other people think. Go with your gut & with your heart! The best advice I ever got was how I was going to be the one spending my time and future with these girls. So ask yourself, where do I want to do that

Little me thought I would forever be in my family’s shadow, but Sigma Kappa let me shine through in more ways than I could ever imagine.

Fast forward two years later and I am beyond happy that I found an organization full of people I would do anything for. I have a solid group of friends I can count on, both in Greek life and not. I have my siblings & cousin close by which you may think is overbearing but it makes me the happiest person in the world. They are my constants. Believe me, your family will love & support you no matter where, or if, you join a sorority.