If I'm Being Honest...

This post is bound to raise more than a few eyebrows, or perhaps a cliche "She doesn't even go here!" reference - for I rarely made anyone aware of my presence in the sorority while I was in school. I held no committee positions and I was certainly not one of those event-attendee overachievers. If you blinked, you probably missed me at cube. When I did bless everyone with my quasi-existence, I donned the wet-hair, rolled out of bed look. I can count on one, sloppily self-manicured hand how many close friends I retained. I did have a very prestigious role however - if you hung around me, you were an A-lister for the recruitment video. If I gained any popularity at all, I would not hesitate to attribute it to the self-reassurance we all collectively, as a society, value.

Consequently, there are a few things I never believed I could be. I could never be the girl that attended every social function without question. I could never be part of the crew that organized weekly trips to Atlantic City. I could never be the girl that LoOoOoOoVeS ALLLLL of my sisters. I could never be the girl that does her hair every morning, or even on rare pin attire days. I could never be the bleeding-heart, full-throttle, all-or-nothing sorority sister that everyone else in greek life managed to play so well on TV. And, as expected, I never became any of those things.

However, I never believed I could ever be the person that addressed my little as "little." I never considered I would spend more hours working on a banner for Homecoming than I did my own assignments. I really never thought I'd be traipsing around my graduate-school campus in worn-out letter shirts. I never thought I could care for my sorority sisters like the friends I had made organically, without payment. I really never thought I'd be here, nostalgic and reflecting on my experience, intermittently click-clacking away at my keyboard between Nutella binges. I never thought, while falling short of nearly every expectation I perceived people to have of me, I could be someone that somebody in greek-life could or ever would appreciate, but here we are.

What girls are told during recruitment is true: your experience in a sorority will shape who you become. It will indefinitely play a huge role in your psyche, your self-esteem, and the way you socialize. It will play a role in what jobs you get. It plays a role in the memories you create, and hold. It can be the thing you look back on and want to come "home" to.

But what girls are not often told, which is just as important, is that who you are will shape your experience. The fundamental characteristics of your personality can have a place in how you develop your time in your organization. The socio-emotional expectations you may feel are self-determined. No matter what you join, or where you go, you do not have to let go of the parts of yourself that have brought you to this juncture. No matter what you do, sorority or otherwise, there will be things you cannot be and roles you cannot fill. But during my time in Sigma Kappa, I can safely say nobody ever asked me to change.

Make the most of your experience in your organization of choice, no matter how you choose to spend your time. You too will one day feel the wrath of the dreadful day your quarter-life crisis hits, and you realize that sequin crop-tops need to be a thing of the past. You too will feel the overwhelming sadness that accompanies having to miss your little's birthday, because you are simply too far away. You too, will be researching your local Alzheimer's Walk and looking for ways to volunteer, because you are the 1% that joined a sorority for the charity work. You too, will realize that all of the small ways your participation influenced you, somehow turned into big memories that will forever be a part of who you are. Or maybe thats just me.