What I've Learned Through What I've Lost

October 12, 2015, a bright, fall morning quickly turned into a dim, cold, and ordinary day. My family received the call that my uncle passed away. That moment will forever be embedded in my brain and in this moment I’m not sure if my heart will ever be the same.

Going to the room I had visited multiple times before seemed so different as I made my way through what was once the loud, congested hallways were now into the eerie, saddening walk as I made my way towards his room for the last time, taking out the decorations I made and brought to his room just the day before tore my heart apart.

The past few months have been an emotional roller coaster with the visits back and forth to give my uncle as much comfort as I could. As someone who loves to help people, I suddenly felt helpless. The reality of not being able to make him feel better was becoming more and more apparent after each visit. By the end though, I have finally come to the conclusion of just what I have learned from my uncle. His illness showed me I can rely on my sisters in tough times. He is a part of my experience in Sigma Kappa because of his demonstrations on how to be strong, appreciative, and passionate.

He taught me how to be strong when facing adversity. He went through many challenges during his short 57 years. From overcoming his disability and beating all expectations people had for him to having cancer all throughout his body. I have learned to be strong for others who do not have a voice, for myself when dealing with his illness, and for him; he needed our strength as much as we needed his.

He taught me to be appreciative. When I listen to a song or hear about the Honeymooners or notice the sky been a little clearer, I think of my uncle. I think of the gray headphones that were glued to his ears, the old shows which made his day to watch, and how he looked at everything from a different perspective by always taking the time to walk around and see the world. I am appreciative for the people in my life and for everything around me. You do not know how much time you have on this Earth, but I do know that if I live it like my uncle did, I’ll be happy.

Lastly, he taught me to be passionate. He taught me to never be afraid to do something I love. And that’s just what I do: I love to love. Whether it’s my friends, family, or relationships, I will never be afraid to love. My uncle loved his siblings, his nieces and nephews, the rest of his family, and the community he was a part of immensely and was never afraid to show it. So why are we so afraid to love? Does it make us vulnerable? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes.

Through my journey with my uncle’s sickness, I’ve been told I’m strong for being so brave, yet I feel so small and not tough at all. I am more thankful for all of the support I get and have received as I’m continuously telling our chapter. Lastly, they know how passionate I am. Passionate about our organization, our sisterhood, and our health & happiness. When an organization has given you so much, it is only natural to want to give them as much in return. I learned how they are even more supportive, encouraging, and comforting than I ever imagined they could be. Through the letters, messages, and conversations I could tell that my loss felt like their loss and the support they gave my family and I will never be forgotten.

My uncle did not just teach me to be strong, appreciative, or passionate. The influence he made in my life will never go unnoticed especially when majoring in Special Education. He instilled in us to always surround yourself with people who love you for they are ones who you will make the most impact on. So thank you, Uncle Joe, for showing me the resiliency I never knew I had.